YOOOO SO LOOK DA FIRST TIME I EVER GOT ON DIS RIDE I WAS WITH A WHITE FAMILY AND U KNOW WHITE FOLKS CRAZY SO DEY DONT FEAR ROLLER COASTERS OR DEATH IN GENERAL. AFTER ABOUT 10 MINUTES OF TELLIN DEM DAT I DIDNT WANNA GET ON I FINALLY SAID YES CUZ I AINT NEVER BEEN NO BITCH AND I DIDNT PLAN ON STARTING THAT DAY. WHEN DA ENGINEER SAID “PLS LEAN BACK AND KEEP THE BACK OF UR HEAD PRESSED AGAINST YOUR SEAT” AND I SAW EVERYBODY STICK DA BACK OF THEIR HEADS TO THE CHAIR I KNEW DAT I MADE DA WORST DECISION OF MY LIFE CUZ I EVEN SAW SOME BLACK FOLKS LISTEN AND U KNOW DAT WHEN BLACK PEOPLE LISTEN A WHITE LADY’S ADVICE , ITS DA REAL DEAL. SO MY FIRST MISTAKE WAS REFUSING TO PRESS MY HEAD AGAINST THE SEAT… THE RIDE TAKES OFF AND MY DOME SLAMS AGAINST THE CHAIR WHILE MY NECK SNAPPED… UNCONSCIOUS INSTANTLY.. WHEN I AWOKE FROM MY 3 SECOND SLUMBER WE HAD REACHED DA VERY TOP OF THE RIDE WHERE THE RIDE MAKES A QUICK PAUSE… WHEN THE RIDE MADE THAT PAUSE I OPENED MY EYES CAUSE I THOUGHT THE RIDE WAS OVER AND WE ALL MADE IT SAFELY. BOY WAS I WRONG… I OPENED MY EYES AND DA ONLY THING I SAW WAS A 300 FOOT DROP STRAIGHT TO DA GROUND SO I SAID “GOD YOU CANT LET ME DIE LIKE DIS”. I THINK I SUFFERED A HEART CONTUSION CUZ MY HEART JUST COMPLETELY STOPPED BEATING… AND THAN THE RIDE TAKES OFF AGAIN… WE MAKE THE 300 FOOT DROP AND I SCREAM MY LUNGS OUT AS IM SCARED TO DEATH BECAUSE DA ONLY TIME A HUMAN SHOULD BE DAT HIGH IN DA AIR IS WHEN THEIR SPIRIT IS BEING SUCKED INTO HEAVEN BY DA GRACE OF GOD.. SO WE SAFELY MAKE IT TO DA END OF DA RIDE AND WHEN WE GET OFF I STUMBLE OUT OF THE SEAT CUZ MY LEGS WENT NUMB AND ALL THE AIR WAS SUCKED OUT OF MY BODY SO I COULDNT TALK EITHER.. DA FIRST THING THESE CRAZY MOTHERFUCKERS TELL ME IS “HEY MAN LETS DO THAT AGAIN THAT WAS WICKED”. I LOOKED AT DEM AND I REALIZED DAT DIS WHITE KID DAT I BEFRIENDED WAS ACTUALLY SATAN. I NO LONGER HAVE ANY WHITE FRIENDS.
please read this whole thing.
Although he was certainly framed, Sirius Black did time in Azkaban. Make sure they have no records of his escape by wearing his prison numbers around your neck. Hung on an 18” chain. Sold on Etsy.
when McGonagall finds out that Ginny is pregnant, and that the Weasley and Potter bloodlines will converge, she marks on her calender the day the child will turn 11 and that is the day she retires
SNL 27x14 - Ian McKellen as Maggie Smith
GOD YES YES UGHH HAHAHAHA
I’m torn between laughing out loud and strangely aroused
geez why choose when you can have both!
Creationist Ken Ham, who recently debated Bill Nye the Science Guy over the origins of the universe, is calling for an end to the search for extraterrestrial life because aliens probably don’t exist — and if they do, they’re going to Hell anyway. …
Someone actually thought of an answer to this.
I thought this part was pretty interesting:
It’s a question that has troubled thinkers who, for centuries, have contemplated, in varying degrees, whether there other beings living on a “plurality of worlds.” When Thomas Paine studied the astronomical research of the preceding three centuries, he concluded, in theAge of Reason, that the existence of other planets revolving around other suns supported theism, but drastically altered the Christian concept of God:
From, whence, then, could arise the solitary and strange conceit that the Almighty, who had millions of worlds equally dependent on his protection, should quit the care of all the rest and come to die in our world because, they say, one man and one woman had eaten an apple! And, on the other hand, are we to suppose that every world in the boundless creation had an Eve, an apple, a serpent, and a redeemer? In this case the person who is irreverently called the Son of God, and sometimes God himself, would have nothing else to do than to travel from world to world, in an endless succession of deaths, with scarcely a momentary interval of life.
so basically jesus travels around being jesus throughout the whole universe, forever, perpetually dying for the sins of life on those planets
Quite a few people requested some form of trait/personality generator, and here’s the result! I wanted to keep it vague enough that the options could work for any universe, be it modern, fantasy, scifi, or anything else, so these are really just the basics. Remember that a character is much more than a list of traits, and this should only be used as a starting point– I tried to include a variety of things, but further development is definitely a must.
Could pair well with the gender and sexuality generator.
To Play: Click and drag each gif, or if that isn’t working/you’re on mobile, just take a screenshot of the whole thing (multiple screenshots may be required if you want more than one trait from each category).
This is so accurate. At school, we literally have children who will watch our facial expressions to see if them falling is as bad as they think it might be.
CORRECT CHILD INJURY PROCEDURE:
- do not react. at the most, maybe wince and go “ooooh”
- go over to the child to assess panic level and severity of injury
- if they’re like, dying, remain calm, but they’re probably not.
- look them in the eye and ask, “you okay?” they will nod. possibly all teary-eyed. then ask, “are we gonna need to cut it off?”
- the child is thrown off. if they giggle, you’re in the money. if they do not, put a bandaid on and do some sympathetic patting. they are probably a little teary. let the sad little bug sit out for a minute. they will quickly get bored.
- works every time
"sad little bug" is the cutest and most accurate term ive heard used to describe a child because sometimes bugs are kinda super cute sometimes bugs are really fucking annoying and sometimes bugs are downright TERRIFYING
but he was:
So can we talk about the fact that that means there were 3 Rory’s in the world at the same time?